2019

Good evening everybody so since my “hopefully” last semester is starting in a week, i gotta write some goals down. not just in terms of academic education but also in terms of how I’m gonna grow as a person. there is a list of things we are gonna jot down right now skincare/ SELF-CARE in general plan for MMC meetings manage your time.. won’t even say procrastinate. Just. Try. To. Manage. Your. Time find some job.. career coach or TA build a friendship with important professors build more friendships, be more present everywhere, get to know people read more keep … Continue reading 2019

“Happiness is not a destination” is not just a cliche quote after all

Hello So I just went through posts that I wrote a long, long time ago and I gotta say, it is truly sad to see that there is a specific similar pathetic pattern going on in all of my posts. To sum it all up, it is mainly about self-loathing and feeling like I’m not good enough and basically a terrible self-esteem. It is funny how the same scenario keeps happening again and again. And what’s funny is that the first post was written in 2015 and sadly, the same tone continues through 2018. I mean, 3 freaking years and … Continue reading “Happiness is not a destination” is not just a cliche quote after all

Raph

I am truly so grateful for coming across such an amazing person like you. Honest to God, one of the best things about this experience was getting to know you. We clicked from the very first moment we met and our bond just grew stronger and stronger as days passed by. You’re like my long lost French twin. except that you’re the rational twin and I’m the irrational one ofc lol. I am going to miss seeing your face every single day, I will miss our deep conversations that last for hours and hours. I will miss getting lost with … Continue reading Raph

ADHD

Good Afternoon, today is a lovely day. I will continue applying for internships. Write a letter about myself. Then maybe try to study a bit. I need to find a new hobby to distract myself from the this endless dilemma. I need to stop thinking and just let things be. LET IT GO. DAMMIT. Continue reading ADHD

Lessons

What did I learn? you should’ve walked away a long time ago. it’s okay tho. just don’t do it again Stop being so naive. not everyone has the heart as yours. you might never get an apology. you most probably won’t. accept it and move on. one day you will have something much greater than all this. it will make you forget about this super tiny part of your life. stop having pity parties. life’s too short. overthinking will not turn back time and it will undo anything. you won’t get the answers you want and you don’t even need … Continue reading Lessons

Maybe I should’ve handled the situation better, but I was just too angry and frustrated. Even when I went a bit too far, I apologised. I tried my best to show how much I cared, but it didn’t change anything. I poured my heart out and all you did was reply with a sarcastic comment then you said nothing that would calm me down. You were mean and you know it. I didn’t react in the perfect way either, but I tried. Last time I spoke to you, I was hoping we would have one last proper decent conversation, but … Continue reading

forgiveness

how am I supposed to forgive someone who wasn’t even sorry? how am i supposed to move on when i feel like i didn’t get the ending that i deserved? how is this supposed to be okay? Some would call me dramatic and that i overreacted, but isn’t that so unfair? it’s something that literally disrupts your insides and you’re expected to act like everything is okay? I want to move on. I really want to. I hate that I’m still overanalysing and overthinking. i hate myself for it. i want to move on but I don’t know how to … Continue reading forgiveness