Maybe I should’ve handled the situation better, but I was just too angry and frustrated. Even when I went a bit too far, I apologised. I tried my best to show how much I cared, but it didn’t change anything. I poured my heart out and all you did was reply with a sarcastic comment then you said nothing that would calm me down. You were mean and you know it. I didn’t react in the perfect way either, but I tried. Last time I spoke to you, I was hoping we would have one last proper decent conversation, but you didn’t even allow me to have that. You’re probably talking to someone new now, someone you can be yourself with and someone who can be easily comfortable with you, someone who knows how to keep you entertained.
I am sorry I cut all ties with you, but you threw it all away as if i never really mattered to you. Nobody won. I didn’t cut all ties with you out of immaturity. I was just angry and it was not your space anymore. We were both so toxic to each other and it’s better this way, but perhaps I would’ve been a better person if you were just honest with me. If you would just say the truth instead of sugarcoating everything. You knew I didn’t know any better and you took advantage of that. I hate that I kept justifying all the things that hurt me. I hate that I ignored my gut feeling. I hate the way things ended. The least you would’ve done was end it in a nice way. You owe me an apology but I know I will never receive it. I doubt you even think you did anything wrong. However, I forgive you anyway. It is the only way I will be able to finally move on. I hope I never see you again. You’ve made me so miserable and you played with my emotions which is why I had the right to cut you loose. What you did was not THAT bad compared to other terrible things that other people do, yet that doesn’t change the fact that you hurt me and there’s no going back. You took advantage of my kindness and although its so hard to forgive you, I will keep forcing myself to do it every day because holding a grudge will do nothing but affect me.
So I forgive you today, and I will forgive you tomorrow and I will keep forgiving you every day until I finally let you go and forget you ever existed in my life.